Empty Nest Again

Early on Sunday our nest emptied once again. We drove our youngest daughter to the airport for her trip back to Boston. From there we headed out in the dark towards Sun Valley. We have had an inversion in Boise and hadn't seen the sun in a while so as we moved up through the muck into the sun, it was glorious. Brilliant blue sky and sparkling snow. We enjoyed an afternoon of cross country skiing with our friends, recovered at their condo, then headed out for pizza.

Through the afternoon and into the evening, I periodically got phone calls from Erin as she dealt with a cancelled flight, rebooked, and waited and waited. She called me once she reached the Boston airport but forgot to call when she reached her room. Worried, I called her and found she was back safely. Sigh.

This time saying goodbye to her was different. In the past I always knew that I would see her again at the next break. This time we don't know where she'll be next summer because she hopes to get an internship. Returning home to Boise makes no sense because there are no jobs here for her. I don't know when I'll see her again. It made the goodbye more difficult. The short trip to Sun Valley was a wonderful break; I realized that it is time for us to live our own lives.

The Dawn of Hope

I really couldn't let today go by without comment. The eyes of the entire world were on Washington D.C today. The number of people around the Capitol mall was incredible. I had to work today so all I could do was attempt to follow the inauguration via the internet feed on my computer. The daughter of a friend was there in the crowd so I was able to look at her photos on Facebook. What a historic event! People of multiple races, ages, and backgrounds were there. So much hope is being placed on one man. No mortal could possibly live up to the expectations. Our country has overwhelming problems; the economy seems to be collapsing. I too hope that Barack Obama can begin to turn things around. I hope people give him a chance. Although lacking in experience, he's a brilliant man with the power to inspire. I hope he's up to this tremendous challenge. I will be praying for him and our country. I will dare to hope.

I'm Being Read!

Today I received an e-mail from someone on my Christmas card list. This is someone with whom I exchange Christmas cards/letters every year but we haven't seen each other in years. She had to tell me that she had finally read my blog--all of it. Wow. Somehow I'm always surprised when somebody tells me that they've read my blog, even when it's one of my daughters. As I write my blog I have to remind myself that someone might actually read it; it's such a lonely exercise. Now, I suppose that if I always got comments like my daughter does on her livejournal blog, that would be a different matter. So, to whomever may be reading this, I'll try to make it worthwhile.

Holiday Reflections

I'm not really sure that I'm ready for the holidays to be over, for a number of reasons. The lights and decorations are so cheerful. I really love the way Christmas lights reflect off the snow. . . or through the snow. When the lights disappear, we are just left with the cold of January. The best part of the holiday season is time spent with family. It becomes even more important now that I'm an empty nester. Bob and I have no family in the state of Idaho, just each other.

On November 19, Bob flew to Florida to stay with his mom then drive her up to North Carolina. She had a stroke in April and is unable to travel alone. I flew to Raleigh on Nov. 21. It was an uneventful, fairly quick trip. Laura and Ian picked me up at the airport. (Her hair was streaked with turquoise this time - at least she warned me.) Laura and I got up early the next morning so she could go to the barn and ride Rocket. It was freezing out, especially for Raleigh! I watched Laura ride, took photos, and tried to keep warm. Her young instructor was there, too, and I got to see her jump. This is something Laura really loves, so I'm glad she found a place to ride. That evening the two of us went to see the new movie "Twilight". It was true to the book (which Laura had asked me to read) and very entertaining. On Sunday Laura and I attended her church (Ian slept in). Afterwards, we went out to lunch with the young adult group, a nice bunch of people. Laura and Ian both had to work on Monday so I tagged along with Laura - sort of a "take your mom to work day". I was a bit surprised that her boss was so willing to have me there. Most of the time I sat next to her at her computer and watched her work. I was even recruited to help test a game for a short time, a group test. That was fun although I'm not a video game player and had no idea how to use the controls. Laura, her boss, a female friend from the art department (one of the few other women) and I went to lunch. All in all, an interesting day. It was a nice few days, good mother/daughter time which I treasured because it happens so seldom anymore. Shortly after we returned to their home, Bob and his mom arrived.

Laura picked up her sister, Erin, at the airport on Wednesday afternoon. Finally we were all together. Thanksgiving was a whirlwind of activity with food preparation and figuring out how to seat 10 people in their little dining area. This was a huge change for me. It was the first time in 20 years that I did not have to make Thanksgiving dinner. Of course, I helped and offered advice, but this was Laura's show. She was hosting her first holiday meal in their own home, a big deal. She was nervous, but it came off well. Her childhood friend, Liz, who is attending graduate school at NC State was present, too, and was a great help. They had two small turkeys and the two of them worked on them together, Laura learning from Liz who had done it before. They had fun working together. Laura's inlaws, and Bob's brother, George, also came to dinner. It was a special time with everyone together.

We were able to stay until Monday when Erin and I flew off in our own directions while Bob and his mother headed back to Florida. It was hard to see my mother-in-law moving so slowly and struggling in frustration to do what she used to do easily. However, I was pleased to see her determination and progress, amazing for someone 85 years old. It was hard to say goodbye to her since I don't know when I'll get to see her again.

Erin arrived in Boise on December 18 for her Christmas break then Laura and Ian followed 2 days later. The week went so quickly! Although they arrived late on Saturday (actually early on Sunday), and we all got to bed late, everybody was up bright and early for our special church service. The choir, with Bob as a bass, sang a cantata which was lovely. I contributed to the service by assisting with the reading for the lighting of the Advent candles (including an angel costume and thank goodness no photos were taken). On Tuesday night we all went to the Idaho Botanical Garden's "Winter Garden a Glow". We had attended this event years ago but this was a totally different experience. The lights were plentiful and beautiful plus we were able to warm ourselves by the small warming barrels and sip hot chocolate. My camera didn't like the cold temperature but I was able to get some great photos. Afterwards, we enjoyed a late dinner at Applebee's.

I had to work on Christmas Eve day but that evening we ordered our traditional Chinese takeout. We decided to attended the late service at church. It had begun to snow earlier in the evening so the attendance was low. It was a nice, quiet, reflective service, and the drive back in the snow was lovely, although a bit wet. Christmas Day was spent at home, opening gifts, eating, and just enjoying each others' company. We did go out later in the evening to look at Christmas lights, our last chance.

On Friday afternoon we rented snowshoes from REI and headed up to Bogus Basin. Ian had never been on snowshoes before so he was really excited. We nixed Bob's idea of walking along the XC ski trails and headed off on snowshoe trails instead, which included very steep ups and downs. The snow was fresh powder, just wonderful, and decorated the trees surrounding us. We spent about 2 hours out, and got back just before dark, and just when we were getting a bit tired. It was a good family activity and lots of fun.

Laura and Ian left early the next morning. It was hard to say goodbye this time since we don't know when we'll see them again. Laura said they'll come out next Thanksgiving but that's so far off. I sure hope we see them before that. It's hard to have them so far away. Thank goodness for e-mails, cell phones, and instant messaging. Erin will be here until January 18 so we aren't back to being empty nesters again yet.

Back to Blogging

Well, it's been a while since I've done this. My daughter, Laura, complained yesterday that I hadn't updated my blog in a long time. I pointed out that she hadn't posted on hers for even longer (like a couple of years). In typical fashion, she responded maybe 10 minutes later (instant message) with a link to her new blog which included a new post containing photos. She was at work but said she was bored. Apparently.

Okay, so I guess I've been challenged. I suppose the problem is that I feel like I need to post something related to a particular subject instead of just rambling. Something coherent. I feel like I've been a bit brain dead lately. Then the sun came out today and as I was driving to the Y after work, I realized that the rain and clouds had slowed me down. Good thing I don't live in Seattle.

My last post was in June. I was not an empty nester at that point (my excuse?) since my college student daughter was home for the summer. It seems like the summer began late and then finished way too quickly. I worked in the yard and the squirrels ate my corn again. We took a vacation in Glacier National Park (beautiful) and attended an out of town family wedding. My daughter went back to Boston in September, having never found a summer job. And here it is the middle of November. What happened?

I hope to defog my brain and post more often. I feel a need to do something creative, too. Don't know what that will be. We'll see. . .

A Kind Word

Yesterday I received a call at the church where I work from a man seeking help. Now, this is not a new thing; I often get such calls. However, I don't receive as many as I did when we were handing out $10 gift cards. The church was overwhelmed and we had to stop. A new policy is being put into place which includes restrictions limiting help to people living in the area immediately surrounding the church. David is from out of state and got stuck here with no funds due to a medical condition. I had to tell him we couldn't help him. He had received similar replies from many other churches and agencies. I tried to give him suggestions. I thought that was the end of it. Some time later he called me back, seeking more suggestions. And I believe he called me back once or twice more.

David said that I was the only one who was nice to him - the only one! He made calls and visits to many agencies and churches, and his contacts included pastors. This makes me so sad. How much effort does it take to say a kind word to a person in need? What is the cost of a little compassion for a fellow human being? Has this community seen so many hurting people that we are becoming jaded? Already? With the state of the economy, I'd say that we are just seeing the tip of the iceburg. It's going to get a lot worse. Yesterday, a woman stopped by looking for help with gas. I couldn't help her either. She works full-time at a convenience store for minimum wage. She said that she and her coworkers are having a hard time affording gas. This minimum wage worker was no kid - middle-aged and nicely dressed. All I could give her was my sympathy.

David called me again today, desperate. The help he had hoped to get from another church hadn't come through. I gave him a couple more phone numbers. He called back - no luck. I was out of ideas so I called my friend, Judy, for suggestions. She didn't know where else to call but told me she'd call him personally and help him. (David called me back to say thanks.) Judy called me tonight to tell me that her husband had taken David to the store for food (he hadn't eaten for 3-4 days) plus some needed laundry supplies and other items. Ron listened to his long, sad story. On top of that, Judy's mom donated $100 of her own. And Judy is still trying to figure out what we can do to help David. Judy positively overflows with compassion for others. I wish it would rub off on others in this community. We may not be able to personally help everybody who needs it but a kind word and the willingness to listen comes cheap.

One Down, One to Go

Recently we went to visit our daughter and son-in-law in Raleigh. Later, I realized that it was a first - the first time we stayed with our child in her home. Both of them now have permanent jobs which they like. We were there while our son-in-law was baptized and they joined a local church. We met their coworkers and friends. And we happened to be present for a very big step in their young married lives - they put an offer on a house. Both sets of parents toured and checked over the house. We all sat and waited with the realtor to find out if the offer would be accepted. Success! Such an exciting time. I wish we could be there to celebrate with them when they move in. Unfortunately, we won't be back until Thanksgiving. However, I am developing a pile, which is gradually growing, of all her things that we will be sending to her this summer via Uhaul and a friend. I am looking forward to more space in our house, attic, and garage. Really looking forward to it.

Daughter number one is on her way in the adult world. We are proud of her. One down and one to go.

Community Ed

One of my goals, as an empty nester, was to take some classes for fun and to expand my horizons. A few nights ago I took the first step. Our local school district offers community ed classes in the evenings, taught by volunteers for a nominal fee to cover expenses. These classes cover everything imaginable from belly dancing to computers to bird watching - you name it. I signed up for dutch oven cooking and Bob signed up to learn more about the senior volunteer program. I think I got the better deal because they fed us - and well! Although I have done some dutch oven cooking, I gathered more info, and recipes from a husband, wife and their 14-year-old son who cook competitively. They served us a chicken casserole, lasagna, and pineapple upside down cake. Yum! Now I'm inspired to start cooking outside again (after all of the snow melts). And I think I'll sign up for more classes on other subjects.

From Lionhead Lodge

Over the years, our rapidly changing technology has dramatically altered the way movies are made. I am especially aware of this since I have a daughter with a degree in visual effects. We now watch the movie credits all the way to the end. It is really amazing what movie makers can achieve.

However, less than a century ago, movies were silent. There is certain charm to the films from that time. And in some cases, these films were amazing in their own right. About a week ago we attended the Nell Shipman Film Festival at the Egyptian Theatre in Boise. We experienced a showing of her short film "White Water" and the full length feature, "The Grub Stake" complete with organ accompaniment by a professional theatre organist from New York on one of the few original theatre organs left in the country. What a special evening! Nell Shipman was an amazing woman - writer, actress, co-director, editor. The truly incredible part is that these films were filmed in northern Idaho at Priest Lake in the 1920s, much of it during the winter. This was wild country at that time. She had a large menagerie of animals which she used in her films. There were no stunt men or special effects. Nell canoed down rivers, fell in, and clung to rocks; she jumped into the frozen lake, multiple times (along with her reluctant son); she trudged up and down snow covered mountains; she climbed up rock walls. Nell Shipman was a true film pioneer.

It's a Small World

Sometimes I just have to step back and marvel at our ability to communicate with each other, whether it's from one state to another or across the world. When I was in college I made occassional long distance phone calls home via the phone in my room and sometimes I wrote letters (a lost art). Tonight I was simultaneously communicating with both my daughters. I was instant messaging the daughter in the Netherlands, an 8 hour time difference (yes, she stays up late). At the same time I was talking to the other daughter in Raleigh, NC on a cell phone then we moved on to e-mail and instant message to discuss something. At the same time I was instant messaging my son-in-law while I was talking to my daughter on the phone (his wife) and trying to help him connect with his sister-in-law in Europe. Now they all take this for granted but I can hardly keep up with this. You don't have to look back many years to realize how amazing this is. Our world is getting smaller all the time.

My baby is off to Europe!

As I write this, my younger daughter is on a plane over the Atlantic between Boston and Amsterdam. What a mix of emotions I'm feeling. I'm excited for her but also concerned for her safety. She will be spending a semester at her college's castle, "Kasteel Well". They will take classes Monday through Thursday then will be free to travel on the weekends. What an adventure! It will be strange not receiving her cell phone calls at all hours. I'm really back to being an empty nester now.

55

Most years my birthday gets lost in the holiday craziness. December birthdays are like that. However, this year was different, partly because my birthday was on a Saturday. Bob had given me a gift certificate for a spa on my previous birthday but I hadn't used it yet. I decided that it would be a perfect way to begin my day. It was a cold, gray day but the spa was warm and inviting. I had an hour massage followed by a half hour spa facial. Ahhh - very relaxing. (I think I'll return at a later date.) Not wanting to undo the effects of the massage, I returned home to spend a quiet day there. I worked on Christmas cards, especially the ones going to the east coast. This year all of my family remembered my birthday and sent nice gifts that actually arrived before my birthday. The most special one was from my hubby; years ago he gave me a star garnet and he had it set in a necklace - beautiful! Laura and Ian gave me a cozy robe that she embroidered. One sister gave me a colorful scarf that she knit herself and the other sister gave me a soft white turtleneck. (Erin brought me her gift when she returned from college - a colorful "nose" glasses holder which I use daily). In the evening we went to the Olive Garden where I ordered my favorite - the portobello mushroom ravioli. Afterwards, we headed to Edwards Cinema where I now qualify as a senior citizen. Sigh, yes I am 55 years old. (How did that happen?) I figured that I might as well take advantage of one of the few benefits of growing older. We saw "The Golden Compass" - very entertaining. We returned home late and celebrated with birthday cake, chocolate, of course!

Normal Thanksgiving

Now that Christmas is fast approaching, I think I'll reflect on Thanksgiving. Yeah, I'm a bit behind again - oh well. It really is true that everything is relative. In the past it seemed a bit lonely at Thanksgiving when it was just the four of us, when there were no grandparents joining us. However, after last year when it was just the two of us, going back to four seemed like a much fuller table.

Our son-in-law, Ian, was supposed to come, too, but since he had a new job with no vacation yet, he was unable to be here. Laura doesn't get paid vacation with her job so she just told her boss she was leaving for about 10 days (although she really wanted to say she was leaving forever). It was so nice to have her here for that long. We really didn't want to fly Erin out here for just a few days for such a high cost. However, when we found it was going to cost almost as much to fly her to her grandmother's in Florida as it would to bring her home, we pulled out the well worn credit card and bought her a ticket. She said she really wanted a "normal" Thanksgiving.

I have learned that a normal Thanksgiving requires that I fix exactly the same dishes that I've been making for years. The turkey is always stuffed with a bread dressing and barbequed on our Weber. We started this when we first moved here and discovered that the oven was too small. Now we wouldn't have it any other way. The meal also includes mashed potatoes, gravy (if I can get it right), green bean casserole, cranberry jello salad, bisquits, and pumpkin pie.

It was wonderful to be together, if only for a few days. On Friday evening the four of us went to our local Festival of Trees, a great way to get into the Christmas spirit.

A Different Halloween

For years at least one of us has stayed home on Halloween to answer the door for trick or treaters. This year Bob stated that he wanted to attend an Air Force band concert being given at a local high school. On Halloween? He pointed out that we don't get many trick or treaters. True. I relented but decided to put out a bowl of candy for the one large family of kids in our neighborhood. I grew a few great jack o' lantern size pumpkins this year so I convinced Bob to carve pumpkins with me the night before. The concert was great. Of course, it included some wonderful military marches but they played other types of music as well. The Singing Sargeants also performed and they were a lot of fun. My favorite section was the tribute to three singer/songwriters, three of my favorite: Elton John, Paul Simon, and Billy Joel. The two hours flew by and ended with a tribute to the different branches of the armed services. As each branch's song was played, members of the audience were asked to stand if they or a family member served or are serving in that military branch. We returned home to find the jack o' lanterns, still lit, and way too much candy left in the bowl. I'm doing my best to get rid of it (especially my favorite - Milky Ways).

It's Quiet Once Again

Wow, It's been a busy summer. My last post was just before Erin returned from her first year of college. Then there was the trip to Savannah for Laura's college graduation. And, oh yes, the wedding. Busy. Then suddenly everyone was gone. How strange. It's especially quiet this weekend because Bob went to San Luis Obispo for his "guys outing". While it is rather nice to have the place to myself, the four animals aren't exactly great conversationalists. I have been working on putting the last of the wedding stuff away and putting the photos onto an online share site, along with the laundry, dishes, etc.

Last weekend I went on the annual women's retreat with nine other women from our church. We went to a new spot this year, The Depot. The building is an old train depot that was moved to a scenic spot by the Payette River. They had added on a wonderful big deck but unfortunately the weather was a bit cool. For a relatively small fee, the staff fixed most of our meals for us which was a very nice change. This year some of us went for a hike along the Cascade Reservoir; we enjoyed some colorful fall displays. Our study this year was women of the Bible which honestly didn't excite me - for one thing we had used that subject before. However, one of the reflections on Sarah mentioned her dream (she wanted a child) and asked us to write down our dreams. That's not very easy for me. I did a little journaling on the subject (complete with cutouts from magazines). It is definitely a subject that I need to reflect on - now that I have more time.

Disturbing Times

The last two days have been difficult. I can't imagine what the families and friends of those killed and injured in the massacre at Virginia Tech are going through. As a parent of two college students, my heart goes out to those parents. I can only imagine the frantic calls on cell phones, trying to get through, hoping your child answers, that he or she is okay. On a more personal level, my husband is an alumnus of Virginia Tech. On many levels, this has been hard for him to watch. While being shocked at the carnage, he also grieves for his school. He doesn't want his alma mater to be remembered this way. As we watch the story unfold, so many questions arise. Of course, the issue of gun control will come up later. Although I don't even want to get into that now, I have a hard time listening to the people who say "guns don't kill people, people kill people" or the idiot who suggested that all of the students should be carrying guns for safety(????????). This young man was obviously seriously disturbed. A teacher tried to get him help; university administration and police knew about him. However, unless a person seeks help, there is little authorities can do until they actually do something. We are seeing more and more disturbed young men committing murder. The signs are there but people around them seem helpless to do anything. Two murders were committed recently in my state by another mentally ill young man. In a letter to our paper written by this man's parents, they alluded to having difficulty getting help for him. What can we do to prevent more of these horrible shootings? In a free society, that is a difficult question. At what point do we commit a mentally disturbed individual to an institution (hopefully to get help) when they haven't committed any crimes or indicated that they are planning any? How do we balance their rights and freedom with the protection of the rest of society? Does the right to bear arms really include automatic weapons or even handguns whose only purpose is to kill people? Should a mentally disturbed person have the right to buy a gun? Why don't we have more treatment facilities and funding for the mentally ill? These are questions that we citizens of the US will need to answer in the near future. Will anyone in Congress have the guts to deal with these questions honestly? I certainly hope so but I won't hold my breath.

Winter Blahs

Here it is, the beginning of March, and it snowed today!! Enough already! The Saturday before last we got a hint of spring - just enough to spoil us. Late morning Bob and I decided to walk over to our local coffee shop. The sun was shining and I even unzipped my light jacket. We met some neighbors, a woman and her elderly mother, heading out to their mailbox. We stood and chatted about the nearby commercial buildings (and resulting problems) going in and other neighborhood business. Several neighbors drove by and waved. Eventually one then two other neighbors came by on their walks. It took us over an hour to get our coffee but we enjoyed the time. Our spring-like weather was short lived. The snow came down fairly heavily for a while today then the sun came out, as if it had never snowed at all. Some time later we looked out the window and it was snowing again. It was a very wet snow and only stuck to the grass, not the pavement. Sigh. I long for T-shirts, short, and sandals (and sun).

Empty Nest Again

Our nest is now empty again. On Sunday our youngest flew back to Boston for her second semester of college. I kept track of her progress - or lack thereof. Her flight from Boise was almost an hour late leaving. The flight from Denver to Boston was over 2 hours late and it had nothing to do with weather. I'm not too impressed with United. My husband attributes their maintenance problems to an old fleet. Not too reassuring.

So, the house is quiet again and I'm spending more time on my cell phone. I've deposited money into accounts several times for food, medication, books, etc. The Christmas stuff is all boxed but hasn't made it to the garage yet (it's very cold out there). I'm trying to get the house back to normal - whatever that is. I guess that's one of the challenges of becoming an empty nester - determining what normal means now.

Mother of the Bride

About a week and a half ago I attended a "Bridal Extravaganza". Since the bride was on the other side of the country, I went with her sister, the maid of honor. We took our duties seriously, picking up brochures and business cards and sampling entrees and cake. We breezed by the wedding dress displays since we already have one but we did watch the fashion show. We spent several hours there and couldn't eat another bite as we waddled out. I think it was the cake that did it - lots of sugar. We even left with samples of cake in our bag, enough for the father of the bride, too!

Actually, I think we're doing well. Not only do we have the dress, we have a seamstress for the bridesmaid dresses and the pattern and fabric have been chosen. I still need to go and purchase the material and get it to the seamstress. We just signed the contract and made a deposit for the reception and I have spoken to the manager of a band who is making up a contract. The bride and groom have made a decision on the caterer although I still have to call them. We have a photographer lined up. The guest list is coming along and the happy couple is working on "save the date" postcards. Just may need to go sample some more cake, though - before I start back on my diet!

Go Broncos!

What an incredible game! The Boise State Broncos played an amazing game and beat Oklahoma 43-42 in overtime in the Fiesta Bowl tonight. We aren't big football fans but we couldn't miss this game - it's a really big deal here in Boise. We have been seeing orange and blue all over town for the past month. There are somewhere between 20,000 and 25,000 Boise fans in Arizona for the big game. I look forward to hearing the stories from the fans when they return. Boise State sure proved themselves to all the people who questioned whether they belonged with the big guys. Go Broncos!