Mental Illness—A Cry for Help

Tonight I was halfway listening to a TV program about the mentally ill, specifically about the young men who have recently committed mass murders.  One particular story caught my ear.  A couple was talking about their son who has struggled with mental illness since he was young.  They did their best to get him help.  However, once he turned 18 they could no longer get him help because of privacy laws.  Their son is at times violent and has threatened them so they have been forced to ban him from their home.  The problem, his mother said, is that he does not believe he is sick.  He doesn’t think he needs help and gets angry and frustrated with those who try to help him.

This struck very close to home.  I have a family connection to a man who is severely mentally ill and is now in serious trouble.  I will call him Brian.  Throughout his life Brian has gone through ups and downs as he struggled with mental illness—his family has struggled too.  I don’t know all the details.  Brian is now in his 40s.  About 5 years ago it seemed like his life had turned around.  He had recently married a wonderful woman.  She was working at a good job and Brian, a talented artist, was busy creating.  They talked about moving to property she owned and building a home.  When talking to Brian it is obvious that he is intelligent.  It is also obvious that something is wrong by the way he talks—I have found that I have to really concentrate while conversing with him.  Brian is an educated man and met his wife while they were in culinary school.  He is an excellent cook and has worked for restaurants.  His parents were so happy about his marriage and new direction.

Then something shifted for him.  Perhaps it’s that he went off his medication.  Brian moved in with another woman, one with children, and used his wife’s money to support them.  His wife was able to shut off his access to her money, and eventually he ended up back on her property (they had not yet built a home) and into an unheated trailer.  After a while Brian’s now estranged wife contacted his parents.  A concerned neighbor had called her.  Brian was playing loud music all hours, day and night.  This neighbor went over to see him and was alarmed by how skinny he was.  This neighbor asked Brian if he was hungry and he said yes, so the neighbor began bringing food to him.  Brian’s parents were able to connect with the neighbor and tried to seek solutions.  Finally the sheriff was called for a welfare check.  Brian was taken to a hospital, but by law they could only hold him for 48 hours.

Brian’s parents became so concerned about him that they flew across the country to see him, unannounced.  They had some good conversation and took him to dinner.  They were relieved when he told them he had sold his guns to buy musical instruments.  However, the visit ended badly when he got upset and chased them off the property.  While in town the parents met with the caring neighbor and the sheriff who told them that legally he couldn’t do anything until Brian actually did something and he could arrest him.  Discouraged, they flew back home.  The family began receiving angry, ranting, threatening phone calls from Brian.  This was especially hard on his mother who ended up in counseling.  Brian blamed them for his problems and also claimed that the Feds were after him—he does not believe that he is ill.  During this time his wife filed for divorce.  The family had to stop answering his calls.

I got a call yesterday.  Brian is in jail.  Neighbors were returning something to him, and Brian shot at them—multiple shots.  He later claimed he wasn’t trying to hurt anyone, just scare them.  Soon almost 30 police cars surrounded the area.  Neighbors were evacuated.  Finally, after all was quiet for a while, the police drove up to his door and Brian surrendered peacefully.

Luckily, nobody was hurt.  His family believes that Brian would never intentionally hurt anyone.  They worry about him harming himself.  Neighbors told the police and the media that Brian is mentally ill.  One neighbor stated that this is a lonely cry for help.  This did not need to happen.  Not only is mental health care in our country in a sorry state, but we make it nearly impossible for families to get help for their mentally ill loved ones.  One woman, whose sister is mentally ill, said to me that we give them the freedom to kill themselves.

Granted, there is a fine line between violating a person’s rights by committing them against their will and protecting them and society from harm.  This country went from locking up people who didn’t belong in mental facilities to letting very ill people fend for themselves.  People who are extremely mentally ill, off their meds, and in crisis are not able to make a rational decision about their own welfare.  We must adjust our laws so that concerned family or law enforcement can get them the help that they need.  Obviously, this must be balanced with protection of their rights.  Mental health care in this country must be readily available to everybody.  Teachers and others working with children need to be trained to spot troubled children so they can get the help they need early in their lives.

And so we wait to hear what will happen to Brian.  I hope that he will be hospitalized and get the mental health care he so desperately needs and not remain in jail.  There are people advocating for his care.  I believe that as citizens of this United States, we must insist on appropriate care for all of our mentally ill.  That would represent true freedom.

2/22/2013

Off to Sun Valley

January is a good month to leave Boise—this year it would have been a really good idea.  When we returned home after the holidays, there was snow on the ground.  There is STILL snow on the ground (unusual for Boise).  About a week after our return the temperature plummeted.  The lows were in the single digits, often close to zero and the highs were in the teens.  And then there was the inversion—cold air trapped in the valley which gradually became dirtier and dirtier until there were orange air alerts—unhealthy to breathe.  The sun was nearly a forgotten memory.  People grumbled and plotted escape.  More snow arrived, improving the air for a short time.  One morning, on a day that snow was predicted, we got freezing rain instead—a layer of ice covered everything.  Cars were frozen shut and people slid and fell while walking across parking lots.  Body shops and hospital ERs did brisk business.  The sun finally did make a brief appearance but it was just a tease.  The highs got up to freezing, almost balmy it seemed.

My husband and I were excited to leave Boise behind and join our friends in Sun Valley for a couple days.  The sky was an intense blue and the sun reflected brightly off the snow.  We stepped into our cross country skis and inhaled the cold, crisp air.  We spent two lovely days breathing the clean air and soaking in the sunshine as we skied the groomed trails.  It was easy to forget the weather at home and enjoy the pleasures of Sun Valley.  However, the time came to return home, so we packed up the car and headed south.  We were barely past Mountain Home, about an hour from Boise, when we saw it—a layer of brown blanketing the scenery ahead.  Moments later we were back in the haze and the sun had disappeared.  Sun Valley was just a memory.  Perhaps next year we will become snowbirds and head south for the winter.