I was a shy kid. Throughout my
childhood and teen years people who didn't know me referred to me as
quiet. Some people even say that about
me now. It is never a compliment. When I was young I thought that my shyness
meant that I couldn't be a leader.
However, when it became necessary to assume a leadership role in our
small high school church youth group, I learned that I could do it.
If my younger self could see me now, she would be amazed. If somebody told me 40, 30, 20, or even 10
years ago what I’d be doing now, I wouldn't have believed it. My shyness is mostly gone, although it can
rear its head in large groups of strange people. I have learned that I am truly an extrovert;
being with other people energizes me. I
can be talkative at times but I do have the tendency to hang back, especially
in groups, and think carefully before I say something. I have learned that I am able to lead a group
to accomplish goals. I find myself
continually stepping outside my comfort zone.
I ask myself how I got into this.
I don’t know what I’m doing. I
don’t have experience. Somehow
things work out.
My first memory of stepping up was when I was a teen. I remember initiating a collection at my church
for people in a disaster area. I don’t
remember much but I remember feeling moved by the plight of these people. Fast forward to 30 years ago when I was a new
resident of the state of Idaho. I became
a VISTA volunteer for a project to establish a surplus food warehouse in Idaho
because I felt very strongly that I was being called to do it. I had no experience—just a college
degree. At that time I hated making
phone calls. I remember hovering over my
phone with a written script in front of me, gathering my courage to make a cold
call to a trucking company to get free transportation for food. As time went on, I got more comfortable
making calls to strangers to request help.
When we held a grand opening for our first warehouse, I not only planned
the ceremony that included the governor, but I was interviewed on TV. This was not the sort of thing this shy
person was comfortable doing!
After my experience as a VISTA, I was asked to lead the new missions
and outreach team at my church. I had no
experience leading any sort of church team but I said yes. Just a few weeks before the local CROP Walk,
I was asked to jump in and do the arrangements, even though I had never taken
part in the walk before. I used my
position as missions and outreach chair to recruit people from my church to
participate in the CROP Walk. I have
continued to participate in CROP, one way or another, since that time.
When my older daughter wanted to be a Girl Scout, I became a
leader. And when we lost the leader of
our Girl Scout Service Unit, I volunteered to be Service Unit Director. I had no experience with any of this but I
realized that I was needed.
I have held a number of leadership positions in my church. About 6 years ago I was asked to chair the
Discipleship and Evangelism team, now called Welcome, Invitation, and
Membership. I was still trying to figure
out, as a team member, what the team was supposed to be doing so I asked a lot
of questions. I thought carefully about
this and prayed before saying yes. When
a new pastor came, suddenly my team was in charge of redecorating our
narthex. Are you kidding? I had zero experience. It was somewhat controversial (change!) and
people didn't hesitate to tell me what they thought. We hired an interior decorator and did
fundraising. I had never raised that
much money for anything before. I was
lucky to have some good people on my team and our project was successful.
The Reconciling Ministries team was formed to oversee our church’s
efforts to live into our statement that we welcome everybody—with a special
emphasis on LGBT. This became an
independent team a year ago and I am chair.
Once again, I didn't really know what I was doing. As a team we ended up starting an LGBT
support group and participated in the Pride rally, parade, and festival. I began attending LGBT events and making
connections. While I was in contact with
reconciling United Methodists in Oregon, there are no other reconciling
congregations in Idaho. I was a bit
jealous of the work the Oregon churches were doing together. I knew there were other faith communities
that welcomed LGBT people because I saw them at the Pride Festival. As chair of my church’s reconciling team, I
reached out to these others and then I expanded the list. We held our first meeting in November and
named ourselves the Interfaith Equality Coalition. I was amazed at the turnout at the first two
meetings. We have shown up at the
Statehouse multiple times in support of LGBT rights. I think we have made a difference. What’s next?
We’ll see. On one hand, I am very
excited about this coalition but then I wonder how I got myself into this. I've never done this before. How do I lead this? My pastor assures me that I don’t need her
help. I doubt myself yet I’m excited and
ready to move forward.
My contacts with the LGBT community have caused me to participate in a
sort of activism that I have never done before.
My passion for justice for LGBT people led me to get arrested for civil
disobedience at our Statehouse a month ago.
I have continued to participate in other protests, observation in the
gallery, and prayer vigils.
I guess I’m an uncomfortable Christian, a term used at my church. As a follower of Jesus, I am constantly
nudged to go out and do more. God pushes
us out of our comfort zone and encourages us to be love in this world. The shy little girl is now an older woman who
continues to gain courage and step out where there is no assurance of success—just
a desire to make the world a bit better.
I can’t wait to see what happens next.
