I am sitting and enjoying the quiet of my bedroom. It is the twelfth day of Christmas and our
house is still decorated. Tomorrow is
Epiphany but I am reluctant to take the decorations down. When I look at them they bring me peace, a
peace I desperately need right now.
We flew home on New Year’s Day after spending the holidays
with family. I traveled with the
beginning of a cold, a gift from my daughter.
I cancelled the few things I had scheduled and stayed home the past four
days. I lost my voice and couldn’t talk
at all for a couple days. I think that
contributed to me pulling inward, reflecting, and also mourning.
Just after we arrived in North Carolina we got word that my
95-year-old mother-in-law had died from the stroke she had suffered the week
before. We had all thought that this
amazing woman might make it to 100. The
day after her stroke she rallied, sat up, ate lunch, and talked to people. However, the next day she was unconscious and
her daughter took her home to die in familiar surroundings. Eight of us drove down to Florida for the
service, to celebrate a life well-lived.
She leaves a hole that cannot be filled; we have to learn to walk around
it. It is filled with sweet memories.
My own parents are struggling after my dad suffered some
sort of stroke. They live alone in their
own home but clearly my dad cannot stay there.
My sisters are dealing with this, far away from me. It’s hard.
It is easy to be melancholy with all the sadness. It is dark and cold outside. I am lacking energy because I am sick. I turn on the news and I only feel worse—the government
is shut down, the stock market has plummeted, and our president keeps
twittering lies and absurdities. Our
bank account is down to almost nothing.
Our very conservative Idaho Legislature is returning next week. What will they inflict on us or refuse to do
next? I could go on but it is
depressing. I think I need my Christmas
decorations.
Yet through all of the sadness I still have hope. I know God is with me and with all of us. I feel it. .. and I see it. Where?
I experienced hope as I spent time with my young
grandson. He is a bright spot in the
lives of everyone around him, even during his meltdowns. My favorite time was when we made cookies
together, at his request. At age 3, he
is so open and full of questions. He
knows his mimi is in heaven with their dog, Bridgett. Is that in Texas? His parents, my daughter and son-in-law had a
rough few months and were separated for a while. They are back together and trying to make it
work. It won’t be easy, but I have hope
as I watch them. My younger daughter is
in a slowly budding relationship. Will
they marry? I don’t know, but I see the
tender way they interact and it brings me joy.
The time we spent together as family, celebrating the holidays
and in mourning, was precious.
I sat in frustration this morning thinking about politics,
both local and national, and the organizing I need to do. In my devotion time I was reminded about
Jesus, the rebel who stood up for justice for the poor and oppressed. I have a good example. Certainly I can rally myself and others to
work for change here. Maybe we can even
Add the Words (sexual orientation and gender identity to the Idaho Human Rights
Act). On Thursday we got a new Congress;
the House is the most diverse it has ever been with more minorities and 89
women! This gives me hope.
So tomorrow I’ll take down those Christmas decorations and
prepare for the week ahead. I’ll call my
parents and my daughters. And then I’ll
start organizing to help make my part of the world a bit better. I have hope.
