I have posted very little this year. Why? I
guess it is because I have been overwhelmed by life and I just couldn’t find
the words. I did try to write a couple
times but then I couldn’t share it.
Life can be crazy sometimes and all we can do is cope. A little over a year ago my son-in-law
disappeared for a few days. When he
returned we learned he’d had a mental break.
I flew to North Carolina to be with my daughter and grandson during this
storm in their lives—and experienced an actual hurricane while there. I flew back home while still sick with a 24-hour
flu.
We spent Thanksgiving with my aging parents in California then
flew to North Carolina to be with our daughters for Christmas. Prior to leaving home we learned that my
husband’s 95-year-old mother had suffered a brain bleed. We received news of her death just after
arriving at our daughter’s house. A few
days after that my mom called say my 91-year-old dad had fallen; we later
learned that it was a stroke. After
Christmas our family drove down to Florida for my mother-in-law’s memorial service.
In February we took a family cruise so we stayed at my
mother-in-law’s house before and after the trip. The house seemed so empty without her
there. My husband stayed afterwards to
help his sister clean out the house. I
flew home and a few days later I was diagnosed with pneumonia. It hit me hard and it took a long time to
recover. In fact, the cough has lingered
and I’ve learned I have mild lung damage.
In March my husband and I drove down to California to see my
parents. My 89-year-old mom was
struggling to care for my dad who at this point was in a hospital bed at
home. My mom was having trouble getting
help and was exhausted. I spent the week
cooking meals and stocking their freezer.
I returned home emotionally and physically exhausted. In April our family traveled to Alexandria,
Virginia, for my mother-in-law’s interment service. She was buried next to her husband in a
beautiful cemetery full of spring blossoms.
Through all this I have continued to coordinate two
interfaith groups, a committee at church, and more. I am always busy. . . and often tired.
Today is Thanksgiving.
On Sunday our pastor spoke about whining. She reminded us that the lamentations in
Psalms always end in praise. She handed
out bracelets as a reminder that when we whine we need to think about what we
are grateful for in our lives. I am
wearing one of those bracelets.
I am pondering all of this.
We were never promised a trouble-free life. What we were promised is love; God is always
present. This I know and that is truly a
blessing.
My daughter and her husband are back together and he is
getting counseling. We all miss my
mother-in-law but we know that she lived a good, long life and was satisfied
with that. I would say that she was
grateful. My parents are doing
okay. They are finally getting help from
the VA and from other sources. I am
grateful.
Me? I am dealing with
my various medical issues and I know that I am doing much better than others my
age. I have learned a lot about myself
this past year. I am grateful.
I am thankful for all the wonderful people in my life—family
and friends, church people, interfaith connections, community activists, and
more. God is in the connections with all
these people. What is my role? I am learning that there is only so much that
we can actually do when someone else is hurting. I think I am learning the importance of
simply being present. To listen. To connect.
And to always share the love that is God.
