In less than 2 hours the new year will arrive. 2020!
Hard to believe. I am sitting on
the couch listening to a concert of Stephen Sondheim music on PBS. Such wonderful music.
Tonight I posted my Christmas photos on Facebook so my mind
is on that time. We drove to California
to spend Christmas with my parents.
Since my dad’s hospital bed is now in the guest room, my husband and I stayed
at a nearby Airbnb. However, we spent
most of each day at my parents’ home.
My 92-year-old dad has improved since I last saw him. An aide (and sometimes my mom) gets him up
every day and he makes his way around the house in his wheelchair. He spends hours looking out the front window
and enjoys the visits from deer and numerous turkeys. Music plays on their old stereo most of the
day. When the mail arrives, my mom hands
it and a letter opener to my dad and he opens and sorts it.
My mom has lost a lot of weight and she didn’t sit a lot
while we were there. She doesn’t want to
admit that she is nearly 90 and laments what she can’t do. They have lots of help from the VA and
others, including my sisters. I helped
them get started with Meals on Wheels which is a tremendous help.
I forced discussions on the future which my mom doesn’t want
to face. They want to stay in their hope
which I totally understand. They want to
be together. Their family wants them to
be safe. This is so hard, watching
parents decline. My dad wants to walk
again and he was getting there, relearning to use his walker with the help of a
physical therapist. But now his leg
hurts and he can’t stand up. He wants to
be able to get in a car and go places.
Clearly my parents are not done with this life. They are mentally competent and make their
own decisions. One day I was going out
shopping with my mom and sister. I asked
my dad if I could get something for him to give mom. He said yes—a special gift and a card. I found some lovely earrings. Later, I gave him a card to sign and let him
pick out the gift bag. He asked how much
he owed me. A couple days later he told
me there was an envelope on the table for me—it had the exact amount of cash
inside. My dad nods off a lot, but when
he is fully awake, his mind is sharp.
I also bought my mom’s gift for my dad. Although she still drives, it is hard for her
to get out because she can’t leave him alone.
My dad wanted a large clock on the wall near is bed so that is what we
bought.
I watched how my mom tenderly cares for my dad, putting his
needs first. He doesn’t take this for
granted—he thanks her. One night we were
sitting in the living room. The aide had
put my dad to bed and left. My mom was
in the bedroom saying goodnight. I heard
“I love you” and “I love you too.” My
parents are still teaching me about love.
This is what is on my mind on this last day of the
year. Yes, of course there are other
things I could reflect on. Our country
is in turmoil and my international church is about to split. We are so divided. I am ready to say goodbye to 2019. I hope that 2020 is a better year for my
family, my church, country, and our world.
