My Day in Court

The alarm went off early and I pulled myself out of bed.  I showered and put on my nylons, a skirt, top, and jacket.  I ate a quick breakfast and finished getting ready.  Once in my car, I drove myself down to the Courthouse.  It was a week ago today that I got my day in court.

I parked my car and walked around to the front of the building.  My group of fellow Add the 4 Words arrestees was standing outside.  We all walked into the Courthouse together, found our courtroom on the reader board, and took the elevator upstairs.  We crowded into a small conference room just outside of the courtroom.  Our attorney discussed the prosecutor’s offer with us.  Nobody liked it; some were concerned about the one year (or more) probation and others were concerned about the number of days of community service.  Our lawyer, along with another lawyer he recruited, went back and forth to the prosecutor and to the judge.  There was lots of discussion.

Three people who had only been arrested one time (March 2) took a revised plea offer.  There were 15 people who were arrested two or three times in March.  The judge agreed to hear their cases and consolidate them; they will be sentenced at a later date.  That left six of us who had only been arrested on March 2 (this year) and it was decided that our cases would be heard that day.  I was caught a bit off guard because we had been told that we would probably just talk with the attorney and be sentenced later.  We were told we could make a statement; I didn't feel prepared but I quickly thought about what to say.  The attorney began to talk to us about our individual cases but was told that the judge was ready for us.  He said he’d just wing it.  Oh boy.  I was nervous.  We all solemnly walked into the courtroom and sat down; the entire group went in.

The judge began by talking about the way he viewed our cases.  He acknowledged that we were not like the usual defendants who walked into his courtroom.  We were mostly older, like him, good citizens and civic-minded.  He talked a little about the fact that civil disobedience has been used throughout history.  I think we all relaxed just a bit.  We were called in alphabetical order and I was so glad I wasn’t first.  The judge asked the first person, B.A., questions to make sure she understood the charges and the process.  We were all charged with trespassing, a misdemeanor.  Our attorney made his statement on behalf of B.A.  She made her statement, telling about herself and her lesbian daughter.  She told the judge that she is not a threat to the community and therefore didn’t deserve probation.  The prosecutor asked for a fine, court costs, community service to be substituted for jail time and one year probation.  It was the judge’s turn—we all held our breath.  He gave her what the prosecutor asked for except for the probation.

The second defendant, D.F., was called forward.  Our lawyer pleaded for reduced community service hours since the 7 days proposed by the prosecution was a huge burden on a clergy person.  The prosecutor stated that they did not believe that we are a danger to the community.  The reason they were asking for probation was to deter us from doing the same thing next year.  We had guessed that this was the reason but I was surprised that she admitted it to the judge.  The judge reduced D.F.’s community service by several days.  No probation.  I was up next.  Nervously I walked up and sat in the chair next to our attorney.  He whispered what he was going to say to the judge and I nodded.  When it was my time to speak I simply said that I had lived there for over 30 years and was active in my church and the community.  As a person of faith I felt I needed to participate in this action because I felt that all people should be treated equally.  I told the judge that I was prepared to take responsibility for my actions.  Phew.  I got the same fine as the other two, one less day of community service, and no probation.  One by one the other three went forward.  The judge did the same for them.  And then it was over.

We all felt that the judge had treated us fairly.  Our attorney told me that I can do my community service hours at any nonprofit (501 3c).  I shook his hand and thanked him.  He’s an extremely busy man, yet he represented us for free.  We all stood around and talked for a while.  I got a few hugs.  One was from J.K., a gay man who never fails to thank me and hug me.  We all headed downstairs to pay fines.  They were covered by donations made to Add the 4 Words.  I was so grateful for that help, but I know we will need more for the rest of the group.

I didn't get home until about 1:00 p.m.—it was a long morning.  I was exhausted—it was an emotional day.  So now I have a record.  I’m thinking about where to do my community service hours.  Lots of thoughts swirled through my head for the rest of the day.  However, I have no regrets.  When I walked into the Capitol building on March 2, I had no doubt that I was supposed to be there.  The Idaho legislature needs to add the words “sexual orientation” and “gender identity” to the Idaho Human Rights Act.  It’s a matter of justice.

Mother’s Day Thoughts

Another Mother’s Day has come and gone.  This year I was surprised to see a number of anti-Mother’s Day articles and posts on the Internet.  There were mothers who stated that they did not want to celebrate the holiday.  Some people feel the day should not be observed at all.

I understand that Mother’s Day can be painful for some people.  It can be difficult for those who have lost their mothers recently.  It is hard on women who can’t have children or for those who gave up their children.  Some people had abusive mothers or were abandoned by their mothers.  It is important to be sensitive to these people.  Many churches have changed how they approach Mother’s Day to respect people who find the day to be difficult.

However, I don’t think it is necessary to throw it all out because of these concerns.  For me, Mother’s Day is a very personal observance.  Unfortunately, I no longer live near my mother or daughters so we celebrate from afar.  We get busy in our lives and it is helpful to have a special day set aside to say thanks to our mothers.  Of course, we should do this more than once a year, but I like having a special day.

My mother is now 85 years old and lives in another state.  It has been years since I was with her on Mother’s Day.  Every year I send her flowers.  She looks forward to them and my siblings all know that I do this.  I call a flower shop in her town to place the order—the flowers are always beautiful.  When I called her last night, she told me that they had arrived at just the right time.  She wasn't feeling well so decided to skip a family gathering the day before.  The flowers brightened her sad day.  I have stopped thinking about the increasing cost of flowers.  They make her happy and I know that I won’t have her forever.  My husband also sends flowers to his 91-year-old mother.

My daughters live across the country from me.  I receive cards and gifts, sometimes on time and sometimes late—all chosen with great care.  I am impressed by their choices; they know what I’ll like.  I am especially touched by their words, either on cards or on Facebook.  Being their mother has not always been easy but I would do it again in a heartbeat.  I am so proud of the women they have grown to be.

By next Mother’s Day my older daughter will be celebrating with her new son.  That first one is so special.  Motherhood is a hard job but it’s the best job I've ever had.