Breathing in the Mountains

What a fabulous fall day!  I am in Donnelly, Idaho, for a church women’s retreat.  This morning we talked about breathing—our theme is “Breathe. . . Take a deep breath, the breath of God.”  I especially like this poem (don’t know who wrote it).

Breathe

To pause

To collect your thoughts

To remember

To face the next moment

To choose

We relaxed by tapping into our creative sides.  One member of our group gave a brief watercolor lesson.  I painted a pine cone and then experimented with clouds.  It was a good release for me.

I came to this retreat to breathe both literally and figuratively.  I have been struggling with asthma lately, first because of smoke and recently because of the high sage pollen count.  Yesterday, when we arrived it was windy and I could detect the pollen in the air.  Today the air is mostly still and the sun is shining.  I can take a deep breath and feel the cool mountain air fill my lungs.  It is delightful.

I can breathe out and let go of my responsibilities at home and then breathe in and concentrate on God’s presence in my life.  This afternoon four of us drove to a trailhead for a short hike.  The drive up there was beautiful.  We have not seen such intense fall colors for years.  On our walk and on our drive back down we stopped frequently to try to capture the beauty with our cameras.  The sun lit up the red leaves, intensifying their bright color.  The yellow leaves with light shining through them caused the trees to absolutely glow.  It took our breath away.  I am so grateful to be here this weekend for the chance to breathe and enjoy God’s creation.

Written on 9/24/2016

 

 

Chronic Pain Patient

I am sitting on my deck looking out at my yard, feeling pleasantly tired and relaxed.  I did a couple hours of weeding, cleaning up, and watering.  Now I need to sit.  The sun is low in the sky and I’m beginning to feel the chill that comes with a late summer evening.

This morning I had a physical therapy session with a woman who claims to have a sixth sense about bodies.  She does.  My regular physical therapist, the owner of the clinic, brings this woman in from another state every 6 weeks or so.  I always feel so much better when I walk out.  I think part of my tiredness right now is my body adjusting to her treatment.

Last week during my biweekly physical therapy session, my therapist and I were discussing what will happen when I qualify for Medicare.  She referred to me as one of her chronic pain patients.  Oh.  I just hadn’t thought of myself like that.  I know people who are much worse off than me.  I do deal with a certain level of discomfort or pain daily.  It is my baseline, my normal.

I get regular physical therapy to help me with my scoliosis (curvature of the spine) plus all the problems it causes and my arthritis.  I take medications also.  I exercise regularly.  The exercise is essential for me to be able to keep moving.  I am a person who prefers to be on the go.  I like to be active.

I am also someone who lives in the present.  My body is now causing me to think a bit more into the future.  I have to sit and rest periodically even if I would prefer to keep going.  It pains me to accept that there are some things I will never do again, like backpacking.  I am pushing to improve my yard and make it easier to care for.  My husband and I are beginning to discuss trips we want to take with our retirement savings—before we are no longer able to do it.

I don’t think any medical person can really tell me exactly what will happen to my body in the future.  I’m not sure that I want to know.  I do know that I will not get better.  I also know I will live my life to its fullest to the best of my ability.  There are so many wonderful things to experience in our world.  How could I not?