Can I Still Dream?

Yesterday the clouds hung low and it rained steadily most of the day.  It was damp and dreary.  My arthritic body hurt all over.  My black cat crawled under the quilt on our bed and remained there for hours.  I wanted to crawl in with her.  I think the weather reflected the mood in our country, mine included.

Last week during our Bible study where we discuss the topic for the upcoming Sunday, our pastor asked us what our dreams are.  When she got to me, I was stumped.  I had nothing.  The pastor was surprised.  “What about Add the Words?”  I am one of many people who have worked for years for equality for LGBTQ people in our state.  This year I am once again organizing prayer vigils in front of the Capitol.  As I stood there for the first time in 2020 I realized that I was standing there for the seventh year, apparently no closer to the goal.  In fact, we are preparing ourselves for some nasty, punitive anti-trans bills to surface.  I told my pastor it isn’t a dream but I am doing it because it is the right thing to do.

To be honest, I tend to be someone who lives in the present.  I don’t dwell on the past and I don’t look too far into the future.  Dreams?  Oh, I had them when I was young.  Like most girls of my day, I expected to get married and have kids.  And I did.  I also expected to go to college and have a career.  When I was in junior high I heard “you can be anything you want!” but I heard “teacher, nurse, secretary” whispered in the background.  I got my degree and I worked, but I never had the career.

These questions about dreams have made me wonder if I can still dream.  I am an organizer, a planner but do I dream?  I don’t plan anything more than a year out.  I wonder if other people my age have dreams.

I have hopes for my daughters and families but I leave the dreaming for them.  And now I wonder if in the midst of the daily craziness of their lives and the negativity in our country, do they dream?  My hope for them is that they do.

And me?  I don’t know and it makes me sad.  While I usually try to leave my posts on a positive note, I can’t this time.  I will contemplate what it would take for me to start dreaming again. . .

Looking Forward

On this first day of 2020, the first day of a new decade, I look forward with hope in my heart.  Yes, there are many reasons to be discouraged but the human race is resilient, full of creativity, and capable of great love.

What do I hope for this year and beyond?

Ø  Let’s take climate change seriously and take immediate steps to turn this impending disaster around.  This must be a world-wide effort.

Ø  There are so many refugees seeking a safe haven and a better life, not only at our borders, but around the world.  We need compassionate solutions, treating these people as fellow human beings.

Ø  I hope that we can come together as a country.  I want truth and honesty to be valued again.  Let our Constitution be upheld, preserving our republic.  I want new leadership.  I hope that we can learn to respect and be kind to those who are different from us. 

Ø  I hope that my church denomination, the United Methodist Church, will become inclusive, treating all people equally.  If this is not possible, I hope for an amicable split.

Ø  My state’s legislature convenes next week.  I hope for more kindness and understanding from our legislators.  I hope that they will finally “Add the Words” (sexual orientation and gender identity to our human rights act).  I want them to allow women to control their own reproductive systems.  I hope for more money for education.  Let’s get rid of the “faith healing” law that allows parents to ignore medical treatment for children with preventable diseases.  

Ø  Personally, I hope for a lovely wedding for my younger daughter and her fiancé and for a wonderful future together.  I hope for a healthy new grandchild.  I wish for stability and good days for my elderly parents.  For my own life I hope for balance and wisdom.

Finally, I hope that more people will understand that we are all connected and that we must learn to live in harmony with each other and all creation.  I hold hope that love will eventually prevail.