A Women’s Retreat

The salsa was made

Chips and chocolate were bagged

My duffle was packed

My ride soon arrived

We threw my stuff in the back

The car was quite full

Four of us chatted

For a whole hour and a half

As we headed north

We left smoke at home

Only to find the same here

Can’t escape the fires

Others soon arrived

Beds were chosen, gear was stored

The house filled with noise

The soup was quite good

And soon began our program

On “The Masks We Wear”

We shared of ourselves

Some of us had come for years

While others were new

I’m always amazed

At the depth of our sharing

There’s laughter and tears

Bagels, yogurt, fruit

Started us off the next day

Plus coffee of course

The morning program

Concluded with mask-making

Paint, fabric, feathers

Sandwiches for lunch

At free time the group split up

For hike, drives, shopping

The smoke was so bad

That we limited hiking

To reservoir road

We walked and we talked

It was good to stretch our legs

And look at the lake

While on the way back

Ice cream cones were calling us

A delicious break

Good dinner was served

And our day’s program resumed

Each one shared her mask

Morning came too soon

We had breakfast and coffee

Then time to pack up

We cleaned and picked up

In worship we prayed and sang

Car by car we left

Such a great weekend

Fifteen women in retreat

I will come next year

 

Connection Brings Understanding

In the past week I have been a part of two events which warm my heart and give me hope.  The first one occurred on September 11—an interfaith gathering for prayer and reflection on the subject of healing.  We began with a young Muslim family reading from the Quran in Arabic and then in English.  The father shared how difficult it was to explain to his young daughter that the people responsible for the attack on 9/11 were Muslim like them.  Their actions were contrary to what the Quran says.  How does a father explain this to his child?

This was followed by a Catholic priest and then a Baha’i couple.  The Baha’i woman sang a song about lifting our hands to the light—several presenters related to this and made a reference to it.  Next, the Society of Friends and Pagan/Nature Spirituality representatives shared.  Probably the most amazing part of the evening was when a young Mormon man, Leroy, got up and said he felt like he had been called to reach out to LGBT people.  He invited anyone from that community to come up and join him.  He apologized for how they had been mistreated by the LDS church and asked them to make a statement.  Leroy then invited everyone to join him in prayer—he kneeled and prayed.

This moving part of our evening was followed by a Bosnian Islamic Imam, and a Jewish rabbi.  Our evening concluded with a father and son who shared Native American song and dance, ending with beautiful flute music.  Afterwards, we were able to visit while munching on cookies.  I finally found my way to Leroy, the young Mormon man who was eager to meet me so his group, Mormons Building Bridges, could connect with our church.  I can see interesting possibilities here.  This was certainly a memorable evening.

Yesterday, our reconciling team showed the movie “For the Bible Tells Me So” at our church.  This is a movie that shows how five normal, American, Christian families dealt with the reality of having a gay child.  We had a decent turnout considering there were competing events happening, including a BSU football game.  After the movie, one of our lesbian members shared some of her history, experiences, and how she came to our church.  We broke for ice cream sundaes, and ended up talking in little groups for a bit.  I turned around and found people pushing tables and chairs together for a discussion.  People had found us in different ways—one woman came because Leroy, the young Mormon, told her about it.

We collected names and contact information from people who want to stay connected to us and perhaps participate in a study on the Bible and homosexuality.  From there we hope to start a support group for LGBT people.

All of these connections are wonderful.  I don’t quite know where they will take my church or me.  I do know that there is too much divisiveness and hate in our world.  I know that the more we share and listen to each other, the better our world will be.  If we can learn to respect others who are different from us—whether it is religion, sexual orientation, race, politics, gender, or economic—we will be one step closer to peace.

Slavery

Today the subject of slavery came up—not once but twice.  This is not something I tend to think about.  The first time was during my pastor’s sermon about Paul.  She was talking about what Paul said concerning slavery in the books attributed to him.  My pastor noted that slavery was a normal, accepted part of society in those days.  While Paul may have talked about how to treat slaves, he wasn’t necessarily advocating the abolition of slavery—he did not feel that this was his job.  During later discussions, the subject of our own country’s history with slavery arose.  In biblical times, people often became slaves as a result of war while in the United States, the slaves were of one racial group, deemed to be inferior.  The issue of slavery was not the main focus of our morning, but it got me thinking.

Late this afternoon, I picked up a book I recently borrowed, Half the Sky by Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn.  This book starts off talking about the sexual slavery of young girls.  The stories I read were about girls in Cambodia, Thailand, and Pakistan.  These are horrific stories—their purpose in writing the book is to open people’s hearts so they will join in and work for change.  A documentary will be shown on PBS in a couple of weeks. 

All of this makes me ask why.  Why do human beings treat each other this way?  Is it something in our DNA?  To be able to enslave other people, it seems that we have to first dehumanize them or in some way make them less worthy as human beings.  We can find many examples in the Bible—God favored the winners of a battle making the losers unworthy.  Hence they were killed or made slaves.  White Americans did not consider black slaves equal or even people, therefore they could justify enslaving them.  The same thinking comes through in the stories about young girls kidnapped and sold as sex slaves across borders.  Authorities look the other way because they are just poor, uneducated girls who satisfy their young men, thereby keeping their educated, middle class girls safe.  These poor young girls simply don’t matter.

Throughout time there have been brave people willing to stand up against slavery of any kind.  However, nothing happens until enough people in a society become enraged and are willing to say “no more!”  In our time, are we willing to educate ourselves about the slavery that still exists in this world and do something about it?  How can we say no?

Vacation, Part 3

Day 6

We were not in a big hurry to get up on Saturday morning—everything outside our tent was still wet.  Luckily, we had put up our dining canopy before the storm so our table was dry.  There were still clouds, but the air was much clearer—the winds had blown away the smoke.  I pulled out the eggs and bread to make French toast for breakfast.  We were planning to hike and needed some fuel.

We managed to leave our campsite around 10:00 a.m. and drove up Signal Mountain to the top.  Since the haze was gone, we figured it would be a good day for this.  We enjoyed a great view of Jackson Lake and Mount Moran.  Clouds still hung over the peaks, remnants of the previous day’s storm.

Next we drove to south Jenny Lake, found a parking spot, and walked over to the shuttle boat.  For $7 each we got a quick ride across the lake to the trailhead for Hidden Falls.  This has got to be the most popular trial in the park.  The shuttles go back and forth continuously.  There are traffic jams walking up the trail plus there are all ages, from infants in baby packs to elderly with canes.  The hike was about a half-mile up with lovely views of Cascade Creek along the trail.  Of course, everybody had their photo taken in front of the waterfall.  To be honest, we were a bit disappointed.  Hidden Falls is pretty, but nothing special—we have seen many falls like it in the past.  From the falls we hiked up about .4 miles to Inspiration Point.  This part of the trail was much steeper and rocky; I was glad to be wearing my boots.  I was amazed that there were teenagers trying to walk up the trail in flip flops!  At Inspiration Point we had a great view of Jenny Lake—and of course everybody was taking pictures of each other.

Although the lake was lovely, we were not able to see the peaks from where we were.  We had heard that Cascade Canyon is beautiful and fairly level so we decided to hike a bit further.  We probably hiked about a mile more.  There were certainly a lot less people at this point in the trail.  Finally we reached the place where the canyon opens up and we could see Teewinot Mountain and other nearby peaks—absolutely beautiful.  We determined that this was the place to turn around since we still needed to not only walk back down the trail, but also walk around the lake to the parking lot because we had decided not to take the shuttle back.  Now I had assumed that this would all be downhill or level.  Much to my dismay, the trail around the lake had its share of ups and downs.  At this point my not-yet-recovered body was saying “No!  No more ups!”  However, I trudged on.  It was way past lunch time and my body could tell.  I made it back to the Visitor Center and store totally exhausted.  I sat while Bob went in and bought us ice cream bars.  This gave me enough energy to make it back to the car.  We ate a late lunch at the String Lake picnic area, and then it was back to camp for some rest and a dutch oven dinner.

Day 7

We awoke on our last real day of vacation to clear, blue skies.  I knew it wouldn’t last so I took some photos.  We walked down to the Signal Mountain Marina later in the morning and rented a 2-person kayak for 1 hour—that 1 hour was plenty since we were supposed to stay in sight of the marina.  After some struggle to keep our craft going straight ahead, we realized that it tended to turn left which made us wonder if it was warped—it certainly made paddling challenging.  We had a great view of Mount Moran and the water was fairly still.  This was a fun little outing.

In the afternoon we drove over to Colter Bay.  We walked the little 1-mile loop from the Visitor Center.  The sky was getting quite smoky again so our view of the Tetons was obscured.  We hopped back into the car, and then stopped at the gift shop so I could purchase a souvenir T-shirt.  And we just had to buy ice cream cones.  After all, we were on vacation!  Next, we stopped at Cattlemen’s Crossing, a marshy area on the Snake River with an interesting history.  On our last night we enjoyed a campfire, s’mores, grazing deer, and a ranger program at the amphitheater.

Day 8

The sky was hazy and we could smell smoke when we arose.  This was the worst that we had seen so we were glad to be headed home.  After breakfast we packed up our gear and loaded it into the car.  Why is it that things never fit back into the car as well as they did when leaving home?  Instead of going back through Jackson, we went to Teton Village, over Teton Pass, and then into Idaho.  To our dismay, the smoke continued.  Rest stops provided breaks plus a lunch spot.  The smoke stayed with us the entire time.  We arrived home shortly after 7:00 p.m. to very happy dogs.  Our Grand Teton vacation was truly a great escape from everyday life for a while.

Vacation Adventure

As I write this, my husband and I are holed up in our tent listening to the wind, rain, and thunder.  Wet clothes hang from various loops in the tent.  Once the storm passes we’ll drive up to Colter Bay for hot showers and groceries.

The wet clothes are the result of a short biking adventure this afternoon.  We parked at north Jenny Lake, and rode our bikes to the bike lane on the one-way (for cars) loop along the lake.  There are several turnouts with beautiful close-up views of the Tetons and the lake.  Of course, on bikes we could stop anywhere.  There seemed to be less smoke today but clouds were moving in.  We ended up at south Jenny Lake, only 3 miles away.  Once we parked and locked our bikes, we walked down to the lake.  We watched the shuttle boat take people back and forth across the lake.  People were paddling brightly colored canoes and kayaks.  Children played happily on the beach.  We ventured across a bridge and onto a point for a better view of the lake and peaks.  We inquired about boat rentals, and then, seeing the approaching storm, hurried to our bikes.  The light rain became heavier as we pedaled and I could hear thunder in the distance.  As we pushed up one steep hill, I could not keep up with Bob—my 4-week post-surgery body held me back and I was panting.  Bob pushed ahead.  The rain got heavier and turned to hail, stinging my arms.  I took a wrong turn into a parking lot, delaying my return to the car.  Bob grabbed my bike when I arrived and I jumped into our dry car.  I was soaked.

This has been an interesting day, one that began early.  We were up at 6:00 a.m. and walked down to the Signal Mountain Lodge just before 7:30 a.m. for our 10-mile raft trip down the Snake River.  We hopped into the van for the 20-minute ride to our launch site.  We were given safety instructions by our guide, Zack, the boat was launched, and 13 of us climbed in.  The group consisted of two family groups and us.  One was a young family with four kids, and the other was an extended family of older adults.  Interestingly, there were three geologists on this trip: our guide, my husband, and the young father.  We all had the opportunity to introduce ourselves during the float.

This was not a white water trip, but a rather leisurely float down the river.  The water was fairly shallow, and we even scraped bottom a few times, but the water was fast moving.  Zack was a talker and kept up a running commentary about the geology and wildlife of the area.  We had a fantastic view of the Tetons, although it was still smoky and the sky was cloudy.  The cooler weather today made for a more pleasant trip and perhaps brought out more wildlife.

Zack himself was amazed at what we were able to see today.  The first wildlife we spotted was a young bald eagle sitting on a snag.  In fact, we saw about seven more bald eagles on our float, a record for Zach this summer.  We also saw mergansers, both in the water and in the air.  And of course, there were Canada geese, but nobody was too excited about them since they are so common.  On one bank among thick vegetation we spotted a female moose eating.  I managed to snap a picture as she was leaving—she was a bit shy.  Next we saw two small deer grazing on the bank.  A bit further down the river we were amazed to watch an osprey dive into the water and come up with a fish.  And then, as if to show off his prize, the osprey flew almost directly above our boat.  Our guide pointed out the old Menors Ferry as we floated by and we had a chance to watch it cross the river—it has just started operating again.  All too soon we were at our take-out point.  I think all of us would have loved to go further.

 

Well, the rain has picked up again and Bob is napping, so I think I might be stuck in the tent a bit longer.  If the rain continues, we may be eating dinner at one of the restaurants down at the lodge.  Now that and a glass of wine might be the perfect ending to our day.

8/10/12

Escape

Day 1

It was 4 weeks post-surgery and I was itching to get out of town.  After all the medical testing, surgery, and recovery, I felt like I had missed half of summer.  We couldn’t afford anything fancy, so we knew this would be a camping trip.  But that was okay; we love to camp.  We decided to head for one of the most beautiful places in the west—Grand Teton National Park.

On Monday, we watered the garden, loaded up our clothes, food, bikes, and camping gear, and then we said goodbye to the dogs and were on our way.  And it wasn’t even noon yet!  For us to be on the road that early is nothing short of a miracle.  Lunch was at the Wendy’s in Mountain Home, about an hour from our house.

Driving along I-84 in southern Idaho is not the most exciting of trips.  Mile after mile it’s almost nothing but sagebrush.  The mountains in the distance were partially obscured by smoke, mostly from the Halstead Fire in central Idaho, plus some more local fires.  Periodically we stopped at a rest stop to stretch our legs.  We pulled into our motel in Jackson, Wyoming, around 8:00 p.m.  After checking in we drove to the center of town and began walking to find a place to eat.  The town was full of tourists, many with cameras, and it appeared that it was essential to have one’s picture taken in front of one of the four elkhorn arches at the square.  We didn’t.  We finally settled on a Tex-mex restaurant called The Merry Piglets—I really enjoyed my fish tacos.

Day 2

We were up fairly early the next morning.  Breakfast was muffins and coffee, and then we hit the road and arrived at Grand Teton National Park around 9 a.m.  Our goal was to find a campsite at Jenny Lake but we were already too late—the campground was full.  So we headed to the Signal Mountain area and drove through the campground.  We were assured there would be campsites available so we drove around again.  And again.  And again and again.  Finally, we found a large campsite at the highest point in the campground.  Unlike most of the other sites, ours had a view of the Tetons plus a bit of a view of Jackson Lake.  How lucky is that?  We proceeded to unpack and set up camp.  Although we had planned to go do something, we ended up staying in the campground.  We relaxed and read.  We located the bathrooms, water, and amphitheater.  The bathrooms, with flush toilets, were down a steep hill via a little trail—this ended up being a major source of exercise for us.  We took a short walk down to the convenience store and bought ice cream bars.  Bob put up the hammocks and we took naps.  Dinner was leftover salads out of our icebox.  After a small campfire and s’mores, we walked over to the amphitheater for a ranger-led program about earthquakes and the geology of the park.  It was a good day.

Day 3

Wednesday was the day for bike riding.  I was excited to do this because I bought a new comfort bike 2 days before we left home.  We parked at South Jenny Lake (along with hundreds of other people).  After talking with a helpful ranger in the Visitor Center there, we located the multi-use path and headed out.  The path is paved, smooth, and mostly level.  Although the air was rather smoky due to wildfires, the path runs between the main road and the Tetons, providing great vistas.  My spirits soared as I pedaled along this magnificent mountain range which rises 10,000 feet straight up from the valley floor.  We stopped a few times to read the tourist information signs and to take photos.  We biked approximately 7.3 miles to the Visitor Center at Moose.  After locking up our bikes, we spent some time viewing the exhibits inside the center.

Rested, we mounted our bikes for the return trip.  We could have gone on to Jackson via the trail but we had no desire to leave the park.  The first part of this return included a very steep section which allowed me to test the lowest gears on my bike.  When we reached the top we were rewarded with a beautiful view of the Tetons.  In fact, I think the ride back afforded us a better view of the mountains.  Our bike outing was the best part of our day.

Day 4

Thursday was a good day to stretch our legs a bit.  We put on shorts and laced up our hiking boots, and drove to Two Ocean Lake.  The lake is not far from our campsite, but the trip did require driving on dirt roads—most of the main roads are paved.  We decided to take a short walk on the trail that runs along the west side of the lake.  The vegetation was lush with some lovely wildflowers and berries; obviously there were many more flowers earlier in the summer.  As we walked, we periodically clapped our hands so any bears in the area would hear us coming and not be surprised.  This is bear country.  You don’t want to surprise a bear, especially one with a cub.  The view of the lake was limited through the trees so after a while we turned around and headed back to the parking area.  We pulled out our food and sat down at a picnic table for a late lunch.  While we ate, a group from Rhodes Scholars—grandparents, parents, and kids—returned from a canoe outing on the lake.  We chatted with a few of the grandmas for a bit.

After lunch we hiked up another trail towards Emma Matilda Lake. This trail was much more open, with vast expanses of grass and green-gray sagebrush interspersed with a variety of evergreens.  Once we reached the crest of the hill we could see the lake in the distance, but the trail actually bypasses the lake.  The Tetons rose in the distance, but sadly, due to the smoke they were barely visible.  When the trail began to turn downhill and away from the lake, we decided to turn around and hike back to the car.  Next we returned to our campsite for a little reading and relaxation—it was another satisfying day.

8/9/12

32 Years

As I gaze at our photo, I am struck by how young we were.  Thirty-two years ago we were newlyweds looking forward to our life together, but not really knowing what to expect.  Life was an adventure.  Three years later, Bob was transferred to Idaho, a place we had visited but didn’t know much about.  We had no family or friends in Idaho.  I had to leave my family behind in California.  Bob already knew a few coworkers but that was it; I got to know some of their spouses.  We found a church and that became our family.  I took classes, I volunteered, and I applied for jobs.  Approximately 11 months after moving to Idaho, I became a VISTA volunteer for what would become the Idaho Foodbank.  Shortly after that I found out that I was pregnant with our first child.

Parenthood changes a marriage like nothing else.  I believe it brought us closer together, although we’ve certainly had our share of disagreements.  We raised two daughters, now adults, and faced many joys and challenges along the way.  Together we sacrificed to give our daughters opportunities.  First there was dance lessons beginning at age 3—the dancing continued all the way through high school dance team.  There were countless hours spent sitting in auditoriums or on bleachers, doing fundraisers, building props, driving them to classes and rehearsals.  Then there was the money for costumes, lessons and competitions.  Through the years we experienced illnesses, surgeries, and psychiatrists.  We took every opportunity to take them to shows in town and go camping in the mountains—what great memories we have!  Our vacations to various locations were adventures to see and learn new things.

Our lives changed when our girls left for college.  Our house was suddenly quieter and we had a lot less money.  This is still the case.  We have returned to having no family here so our family is still our church family.  Our lives are simpler now and we have time to pursue our own interests.  I have come to appreciate how much my husband and I have in common—we enjoy many of the same things.  And life is still an adventure.

Where is Sanity?

I wonder if our country has gone mad.  Another tragic shooting, murder actually—12 lives lost—and what are our leaders doing about it?  I give credit to Mayor Michael Bloomberg of New York City for speaking out in support of gun control and blasting Obama and Romney for not addressing the issue.  It is past time for us to deal with the rising gun violence in this country.  How many more people have to die?  My heart breaks for the families of the young victims in Aurora, Colorado.  Where is our outrage?

Today I found statistics on Facebook about gun violence.  I cannot attest to its accuracy but I have seen similar statistics elsewhere.  In 1 year guns murdered 17 in Finland, 35 in Australia, 38 in England and Wales, 60 in Spain, 194 in Germany, 200 in Canada, and 9,484 in the United States.  Yes, over 9,000!  Clearly, even once we adjust for population numbers, the U.S. has a huge problem with guns compared to the rest of the world.  This loss of life is simply unacceptable.

We must work together on gun control.  Now, I’m not advocating taking away all guns.  My husband and I choose not to have guns in our home, but I am not opposed to others doing so.  My father grew up in a rural area in a family of hunters and he keeps a gun.  The family guns were kept locked up and handled responsibly.

I am tired of hearing about Second Amendment rights.  This amendment refers to militias and was written at a time when men carried muskets.  How long does it take to load a musket?  The writers of this amendment could not even fathom our situation today with automatic and semi-automatic guns.  These weapons are designed to do one thing and one thing only—to kill many people very quickly.  Law-abiding citizens do not need these weapons and I will argue that they do not have the right to own these weapons.

I am appalled at the people who state that it’s too bad that nobody else was armed in that Aurora movie theatre.  Seriously?  The guy was heavily armed, and was wearing body armor and a gas mask.  Tear gas blurred people’s vision.  If others had started shooting, the odds would be that there would have been more dead people, not less.

There is nothing more dangerous than a bunch of overconfident, macho guys strutting around with guns, thinking they can handle anything.  Recently, I saw a photo of a sign on a business establishment welcoming carriers of concealed weapons.  Are you kidding?  If I saw that I would turn around and walk back out—I just wouldn’t feel safe.  Who wants to share a room with a bunch of gun-toting guys who think they’re living in the wild west or perhaps in a movie or video game, especially when they’re drinking?

Where can we go and feel safe these days?  I saw a comment that said, “great, now we can’t go to movie theatres anymore.”  Exactly.  The NRA, its followers, and the politicians in their pockets have us living in a climate of fear.  And I don’t want to hear “guns don’t kill people, people kill people.”  No, it is the guns—a crazy person couldn’t do such damage with a knife.  Why do we allow the NRA to rule?  I have often wondered if this group is run by organized crime.  It seems to be the only explanation for some of their stances.

We must enact serious gun control in this country, especially regarding automatic and semi-automatic weapons.  We need to elect representatives who will represent us, not the NRA, and pass reasonable gun control legislation.  These murders will continue to happen until we do something about it.  We cannot wait any longer.  Life is too precious.

A Hot Summer Day

Cool night air

I sit on my deck

Relief after the heat

Hot air late afternoon

Keeps us inside

AC going full blast

Furry, panting dog

Lies over the vent

Blocking our air

Finding her relief

Dinner time comes

Too hot to eat

Frozen yogurt sounds good

But barbeque is best

Along with iced tea

Heat rolls off the patio

We eat inside tonight

And long for cooler days

When we can enjoy the outdoors

Without dripping and dragging

And risking heat stroke

We’ll check the forecast

Then look towards tomorrow

And I sit on my deck

In the cool night air

Sunday Afternoon

My view from the deck

On a Sunday afternoon—

A green canopy

A small hummingbird

Flits from tree to tree above

Gathering nectar

Bird songs fill the air

Louder than distant traffic

Trills and chirps abound

A book on my lap

Reading is sweet luxury

Today I indulge

Husband rakes the lawn

Of the windstorm’s destruction

I watch from my chair

Subdue a strong urge

To rise and be productive

Just sit and let be

One Day at a Time

Recuperation from surgery

Certainly takes patience

Two days post-surgery

Pushed myself to an interview

Found a not-too-tight dress

Bare feet in brown pumps

Husband as chauffeur

Walked in, shook hands, smiled

No pain meds that day

So I think I was coherent

Plus a few points for effort?

Perhaps a second interview?

Went home, laid down

With adrenalin still pumping

Attended Bible study

Impressing all with my toughness

But not so tough the next day

So tired, so tired, sleep

Read a little then slept

This following day the same

So tired, so tired, sleep

Can’t seem to do much else

Two job rejections via e-mail

Waiting to hear—second interview?

No energy for the job hunt

Just waiting and resting

Patience is running thin

One day at a time. . .

My Outpatient Surgery Experience

My alarm went off early—6:00 am.—but I was already awake.  My anxiety surrounding my surgery plus the symptoms of a worn out gallbladder made for a night of little sleep.  I was ready to go in a short time.  Surgery is not something you dress up for—loose clothes and no breakfast. 

My husband drove me to the hospital and we walked into the main entrance at 7:15 a.m.  We were directed upstairs to the surgical waiting room.  Soon I was registered and led to my little room where I was issued one of those lovely hospital gowns with rear ventilation.

I met my nurse, Gail, and once again I was asked my name, DOB, and what I was there for.  (I’m glad that they want to be sure they have the right person!)  She asked me about my medications and when I last took them.  We discussed my medical history.  I learned that we are the same age and both originally from California.  Gail was very talkative and friendly which went a long way in calming my nerves.  (My husband had left by this time to go to his dental appointment; he was getting his permanent crown.)  Next she put in my IV and apologized because my vein was a bit elusive.  However, I can’t even find the needle mark today.  She also put compression socks on my feet and legs to prevent blood clots.

Other medical personnel came in to see me—all very friendly.  My surgeon walked in and assured me that I’d feel much better without my gallbladder.  His assistant came in later and introduced herself.  After a while I met my anesthesiologist.  She explained what I would experience, including the fact that they’d be inserting a tube down my throat.  I wouldn’t be awake for this but I might experience some scratchiness later.  (Yes, I did, so it was good to know.)  During this procession of medical people, Maggie, our church’s Minister of Congregational Care, came in.  We chatted throughout the medical stuff which was a great distraction.  Just before she left she prayed with me, a comfort.  Shortly after Maggie left my husband returned.  Soon the anesthesiologist assistant showed up and asked if I wanted something to relax me.  Yes!  He told my husband that this was the time for hugs and kisses, which I got.  The assistant injected something into my IV and I don’t remember anything after that.  My husband said that he followed me as they wheeled me out.  I seemed to be awake, even talking.  I wonder what I said?

The next thing I knew I was in the recovery room.  Through my fog I saw other people in beds, medical professionals scurrying about, and lots of equipment.  A nurse offered me ice chips which I gladly accepted.  I heard someone mention my name, saying I was ready to be moved.  A nurse came over and pulled off the sticky patches that hold the EKG leads.  Soon I was being wheeled back to my room. 

Once I returned to my room my nurse, Gail, offered me water, and then some crackers and jello.  I was lucky—I had no nausea so I was glad to put something into my stomach.  I was offered pain pills and I chose to take one.  My husband joined me in the room.  A little while later the anesthesiologist came to check on me and I told her I thought I needed that second pain pill.  Yes, she said she could see a furrow in my brow.  Soon the nurse returned with my pill.

While I relaxed in my adjustable hospital bed, my husband and I chatted.  The pills kicked in and I began to feel drowsy.  My nurse returned and said I could go home if I wanted.  Yes!  I was disconnected from my IV, the ice pack was removed, and I was given a little help getting back into my clothes.  Soon a wheelchair appeared and I was wheeled by a young volunteer to the front entrance where Bob met me with our air-conditioned car.

We arrived home about 2 p.m., ate some lunch, and then I headed to bed for a while.  My husband left to pick up my pain prescription plus salads for dinner and CHOCOLATE.  By late afternoon I had moved to the recliner in the living room—much more comfortable.  I tried to read a little and watched some TV while periodically using an ice pack.  It was a good day to be inside—our evening news stated that our high was 108°.  My husband answered a few phone calls; I talked to my pastor who was checking up on me.  Salads for dinner.  I took only one pain pill in the afternoon but was ready for two by evening.  I didn’t sleep well.  I used an extra pillow but it was hard to get comfortable and I got up about 4:45 a.m. to take a couple pain pills.

I am moving around better today but I can’t lean over—mostly I have been sitting in a reclining position.  I have not taken any pain pills, but I think I will after lunch and before a nap in the recliner.

I would not wish this on anybody, but I am doing better than I expected.  In fact, I do think I’ll be able to make it to my job interview tomorrow afternoon without pain meds—my husband will drive me.  I must say it helps to have a loving husband to wait on me.  And I should add that Boise is a wonderful place to live.  The medical staff at the hospital was professional, friendly, and caring which made my experience so much better—I have lived in places where this isn’t so.  My church family has been so supportive, both before and after with in-person expressions of concern, calls, cards, and Facebook messages.  There were so many caring comments on my Facebook page—it made me feel loved.  When I got home there was a gift bag hanging from our door from a friend.  Today flowers arrived from my parents and my sister and her family.  And, of course, my daughters have called multiple times.  All this support really helps.

The surgeon indicated that it will take at least 2 weeks for me to totally recover.  My post-op appointment is next week at which time they will remove the dressings from my four little holes made during the laparoscopic surgery.  I’ll be careful, adding things as I am able to do them.  I am taking it one day at a time. . .

Awaiting Surgery

Doctors are done with tests and consulting

Surgery’s been scheduled for over a week

The big day is upon me—tomorrow

The day I say goodbye to my gallbladder

Good riddance I say, can’t wait

I’ve been tired and uncomfortable for weeks

In preparation I’ve run errands, done chores

Worked in my yard in the heat of the day

(Who knows when I can do this again?)

Bought books for entertainment

Tried to catch up on volunteer things

Did laundry and dusted my room

Wondering how I’ll handle it all

Forty-seven years since my last major surgery

My body has changed a bit since then

Hoping I can bounce back quickly

Need to bounce back quickly

With an interview two days post-surgery

Need to head to bed soon

But will I be able to sleep?

There’s a knot in my stomach

But is it my gallbladder or fear?

When I admit that I’m anxious

I remember all the friends who are praying

Praying and thinking of me at that time

What a huge comfort that is 

If I can manage to remember

Celebrating Independence Day

A few days early

Firecrackers explode nearby

Dogs next to my feet

Sirens can be heard

Wild fires erupt in dry grass

Set off by fireworks

Independence Day

Known as the Fourth of July

What’s it really mean?

Freedom from King George

Life, Liberty, Happiness

A brand new country

Our democracy

A shining beacon to all

And hope for the world

In two thousand twelve

Is the American dream

And hope still alive?

Congress is broken

Political extremists

Will not compromise

Civility gone

Politics trump the people

Greed and deep pockets

Corporate money

With Citizens United

Who runs the country?

Vital programs cut

To save one percent from tax

And the people lose

People in the park

Gather together in joy

Fourth of July fun

Fireworks burst in sky

Eliciting oohs and ahs

Beautiful to see

Do we see the truth?

The threat to our democracy?

Where’s the people’s will?

We need vigilance

To preserve our democracy

Our United States

Just Sitting

I find it hard to just sit and do nothing.  It seems to go against my Puritan work ethic.  When I sit on my deck, I see all of the weeds that should be pulled.  However, today is a holiday so I can justify just sitting.  (But obviously I am writing.)

I am sitting in the shade with my feet up at the edge of our deck.  It is sunny, about 80° F and a gentle breeze washes over me and rustles the leaves in the trees above me.  Mercifully, there are no power tools running in my neighborhood right now.  But the birds—there are so many birds.  The tules that that grow in the stream in front of me harbor a myriad of Red-wing Blackbirds, including young ones chirping in nests.  Red-shafted Flickers rest in the branches of a nearby maple tree.  A nest of young Starlings is hidden in a hole in our half-rotten cottonwood tree to my right.  Perhaps resting in the middle of the day, and currently unseen and not heard, are other residents such as ducks and geese.

I can hear some traffic noise in the distance and an occasional airplane overhead, but otherwise, bird songs dominate.  Peaceful.  Just sitting here.  Listening. . .

Hyper Piper

We had just barely entered the kitchen after our walk when she bounded through the screen door, knocking it out of the track.  Her buddy, Kozmo, was close behind.  And then they were gone.  Sigh.  This was the second time in a week that Piper had escaped.

Last time she slid by my husband while he was taking out the garbage around midnight.  We knew it was hopeless so we just went to bed.  Chasing her does no good (especially in the dark).  Piper is just too fast.  And she simply doesn’t care.  While Kozmo’s goal in life is to be a “good boy,” Piper really doesn’t care.  She does care that we love her and is very sad when we get mad at her.  However, she doesn’t put the two together.

The morning after Piper’s midnight escape, my husband found her on the front porch.  But when he tried to coax her in, she ran the other way.  She was on the run for another few hours.  She didn’t go far, running through our yard, and stopping on the deck to check on us.  When we called to her, Piper would cock her head, and then with a look that said “but I don’t want to” she would run off again.  Oh, and did I mention she was muddy?  When she escapes, she inevitably takes a dip in our stream.  Piper eventually tired of this game and when my husband sat down at the patio table, she joined him so she could be petted.  At least she didn’t bring home a chicken this time—another story.

So, after the screen door escape, we called Kozmo back fairly quickly.  Piper, of course, was on the run.  My husband worked to straighten out the bent screen door.  I listened to the early Fourth of July firecrackers going off and wondered if they would freak out Piper.  Sometime later I heard a couple barks at the back gate.  Piper was ready to come in—perhaps she wanted to spend the night in her bed.  And, of course, she was wet.

Piper is about 8 or 9 years old now; we have given up hope that she will ever be anything but a puppy.  She often carries a toy around the house, looking for someone to play with her.  Kozmo will sometimes play with her, but she wears him out.  I have owned a few dogs in my life, and I must say that Piper is certainly not the smartest.  In fact, I think she might have been gone (running through the neighborhood?) when the brains were passed out.  For example, we can rap on a counter or other surface while she is watching, yet she will think somebody is at the front door.  Sigh.  But Piper can be a sweetheart.  She really wishes to be a lap dog, and it’s taken her a long time to understand that she’s too big.  A border collie / shar pei mix, she weighs over 50 pounds.  When she is asleep, she is really out; we can step over her, move her around—no response.  However, when the border collie part of her kicks in, watch out!  She has been known to do a flying leap over the entire couch.  Our hyper Piper dog definitely keeps our household lively.

I Am Privileged

Am I aware of how privileged I really am?  I know that often I don’t think about it.  However, when I pay attention I notice:

• With all of the medical tests I’ve had recently, my insurance covers most of it.  What if I didn’t have insurance like many people in this country?  I guess I would try to live with the symptoms until things got so bad that I ended up in the ER.  But I have insurance.  I am privileged.

• There are people in my own community and around the world who go to bed hungry many nights.  They may not know where their next meal is coming from.  I have never gone to bed hungry.  I am privileged.

•  Foreclosures have increased in this country as our economy has soured.  More people are homeless, either living with relatives and friends or on the streets.  The situation is even worse in third world countries.  I own my home on an acre of land.  I am privileged.

• Many people cannot afford a car to go to the store, to work, to medical appointments, or anywhere else.  They must rely on public transportation, bicycles, or friends.  Or they walk.  My husband and I own multiple cars.  I am privileged.

• In some countries, education is not guaranteed for everyone.  This is especially true for girls.  In these places, few people graduate from high school.  In our own country it’s becoming more and more expensive to attend college, putting higher education out of reach for an increasing number of students.  I have a college degree from a good public university and I graduated without debt.  I am privileged.

• Racial discrimination has lessened in the U.S. but it has not gone away.  Years ago I worked with a black man who told me that he could not buy a house in the neighborhood next to mine because of his race.  There are laws against that now.  Racial discrimination is more subtle but it still exists.  A higher percentage of blacks live in poverty.  Our prisons house a disproportionate number of black inmates; they have difficulty getting good legal representation.  I am white.  I am privileged.

• Some of the lesbians I know are afraid to reveal who they really are to everybody.  They are afraid of hate, of discrimination in jobs, housing, child custody, and more.  They are afraid people will only see them as a gay person and not for the many other things that make them who they are.  I am straight.  I am privileged. 

I admit that I complain about being unemployed and how we struggle to pay our bills.  It’s easy to whine about our frustrations in life.  However, I have to admit that I am privileged.  If I am a good Christian, what does this mean?  I realize that I need to get out and work for justice in this world.  It is what Jesus would do.

Medical Merry-Go-Round

Began with a cough

Antibiotics were used

Still there after months

But I felt better

So I kept on with my life

And the coughing got old

Back to see my doc

CT scan showed pneumonia

So drugs were prescribed

Chest tightness, light head

This did not end with the drugs

Back to see doctor

See doctor each week

Pills for my indigestion

Brand new inhaler

EKG performed

Then saw cardiologist

Who did a stress test

Bit stressed at this point

And nitroglycerin was worse

Scary reaction

More nitroglycerin

Attentive nurses this time

An experiment

Early ultrasound

Then radioactive scan

Will I glow in the dark?

No diagnosis

More scans, another doctor?

Maybe surgery?

Life is uncertain

Medical merry-go-round

What will happen next?

Who knows what they’ll do?

It’s called “art of medicine”

For a good reason

Unemployment Gloom

In the past few days we’ve heard about the disappointing unemployment numbers and how we may be going “back into a recession.”  (Back?  You mean we were actually out of it?)  There have been stories about the effects on older workers and on the long-term unemployed.  I move into my eight month of unemployment as someone over age 55 and I relate to it all.

People receiving unemployment insurance are required to make at least two employer contacts every week, or in other words, apply for at least two jobs.  I have found that is difficult to do—there is just nothing out there for me.  Last week I applied for another job at a hospital in order to meet my quota, knowing that they will probably reject me again—but I have already submitted a resume so it’s easy.  I meet the qualifications for these jobs, but I have no medical experience and with so many applicants, they can find people who do.  And I’m not really sure I want this sort of job anyway.

What do I do next?  My unemployment insurance runs out soon, I think—they don’t really tell me and I keep getting extensions.  Unfortunately, we need the money.  If we didn’t perhaps I would declare myself retired like a number of my friends.  It’s not as if I cannot find enough to do.  My volunteer hours seem to be gradually increasing.  I do find this fulfilling, but I also feel I am taken for granted at times.  I have an acre with vegetables, fruit, flowers, and grass which need my attention.  There are personal projects, long neglected, such as family genealogy.  I could read more.  I could work at cultivating friendships.  The list goes on.  However, the job hunt hangs over me.

Some days I am fine.  I do my online job search, work on some volunteer thing, putter in my garden.  The sunshine helps.  But a gray day can make me all the more gloomy, especially after reading the discouraging headlines.  Today is one of those days for me.