Thoughts about My Time at UMC General Conference

I have been home from General Conference for 3 days now.  I am still processing my experiences.  The songs we sang run through my head and sometimes I find myself bursting out in song.  I have had conversations with people at my church and with people online.  I think it is time to write down my thoughts and feelings.

Most of us with the Love Your Neighbor Coalition arrived knowing that it would be a tough General Conference.  We knew we did not have the votes to drop the hurtful words in our Book of Discipline and move towards full inclusion of LGBT people.  After the name-calling and horrible treatment of LGBT people in 2012, I was wondering what would happen.  I did not personally witness any name-calling but I am a straight ally, not gay.  I never heard any name-calling from any LYNC volunteer.  We tried to be friendly and respectful but we did not always get that in return.  Our rainbow stoles made it clear who we were.  Some delegates were rude and walked right by us without acknowledging our presence.  Towards the beginning of the conference, one lesbian clergy woman posted about the hatred she felt.  She was not the only one.  Another person told me that she thought it was worse than 2012.  When I sat in on the committee meeting that was dealing with homosexuality, it was clear from what the chairwoman said that it had been a contentious meeting.  A bit later she had to tell a woman not to use “anything” to refer to a human being.

There was some very negative, anti-gay legislation that would have come up for a vote—and possibly passed—if the bishops hadn’t proposed a special commission to deal with homosexuality.  It could have been worse.  However, that is hardly a consolation for people who have been waiting for decades for equality in our church.  Many people feel the can has just been kicked down the road.  Who can blame them?  What is it like to be called by God but be denied ordination because of who you were born to be?  What is it like to be told by your church that being your true self is “incompatible with Christian teaching?”  I can’t possibly know what it’s like to be in their shoes but my heart breaks for them.

What does this all mean for the United Methodist Church?  Clearly we are not united—there is a split which runs deep.  The divide is both theological and cultural.  Many people want us to stay together; this includes the bishops and many progressives such as the Love Your Neighbor Coalition.  Is that possible?  I am skeptical.  This is not a matter of there being two sides to an issue.  It’s more about whether or not everyone can agree to disagree.  Can we accept a variety of theologies and practices?  We did at one time but the conservatives of our church now appear to be unwilling to accept anything outside of their narrow belief system (which looks a lot like Southern Baptist).  Their proposals around homosexuality were punitive.  They seem to want a more exclusive church with people who think like them and would love to see progressives leave.  If they dig their feet in, I don’t see how we can possibly remain united.

My point of view is colored by the people I hung out with.  I have had to correct people who assume that my experience was all negative.  My time in Portland was memorable because of the wonderful people I met in the Love Your Neighbor Coalition—gay, straight, transgender, straight clergy, gay clergy, parents of LGBT children and more.  We were all brought together by the desire for a more inclusive church.  Some of the people I met have been working for equality for decades; some of them have worked on this since 1972 when the anti-gay phrases were added to our Book of Discipline.  I saw and felt the hurt and anger of gay people who have been treated poorly by our church.  The love that connected us as we shared, read scripture, prayed and sang justice songs was powerful.  I watched the faces of the ones our church excludes as they sang, “I am not forgotten, I am not forgotten, I am not forgotten, God knows my name!”  The energy and fervor with which they sang was different from mine and other straight allies.  For them it was personal.

Another song that resonated with our group was “Child of God” by Mark Miller.  We sang it numerous times, including our final time together around the Communion Table on the floor of General Conference.

No matter what people say, say or think about me

I am a child of God

And there is no thing or no one who can separate

They can’t separate you from the truth that you’re someone

You are family, you are meant to be a child

A child of God

No matter what the church says, says or thinks about you

You are a child of God

And there is no thing or no one who can separate

They can’t separate you from the truth that you’re someone

You are family, you are meant to be a child

A child of God

We are all children of God.  Jesus broke bread with the outcasts of his society, demonstrating how we are to treat our fellow human beings.  I am a life-long Methodist who grew up with “God is Love.”  I still believe this is true.  Does our church believe it?  It was rather hard to tell at General Conference.  Perhaps our bishops need to show true leadership and refocus our United Methodist Church on one word: Love.  Forget the mission statements.  Just one word: LOVE.  Think of the possibilities if we could live it.